Beautiful Blur

I've heard it said that the No. 1 fear in life, preceding even illness and death, is public speaking. Having a mild stutter (more about that in a future blog post), I can certainly relate. So I was downright terrified when I was invited to speak at a financial seminar for low to moderate income women as a blogger at Community College of Philadelphia.

While it was immensely flattering that my blog received this kind of recognition, not even a full year into it's existence, I still had that pesky public speaking aspect to deal with.

Sigh. Let me tell you … it was quite the conundrum.

Being a practical girl, I decided that I had one of two ways to deal with the situation. I could let fear and panic overtake me and (quite literally) fall apart in front of the audience, or I could feel proud and confident about what I've created, put on my big girl panties, and just talk to them about my passion. I'm happy to say I chose Option B.

But there was another hurdle to overcome, far removed from any concerns I had that I might stutter.

There are a lot of misconceptions about Fabulous Shoe Night, and I run into them frequently. The most common is that we sell shoes. The  second, and I think most misleading, is that the word "fabulous" implies high-end, ridiculously expensive designer shoes. Just to clear up any confusion once and for all, neither of these are true.

My main fear was that the audience would be unable to relate to me ... that I would come off as some bored suburban housewife with a "folly," and that they wouldn't be able to identify with me because of that critical first impression. You know … the one we all make.

Again, I felt I had one of two options. I could give into my own nervousness that they wouldn't "like" me, or, I could speak from my heart about just what it is that I feel so passionately about, the near paralyzing fear that keeps me up at night, and what I have attached literally my every hope and dream to. I could talk to them about my "baby." And oh … I do love my baby.

Remarkably, once I began speaking, my nervousness melted away. Much like writing my blog, I just opened up my heart and let what was inside come pouring out.

I shared stories about my journey thus far, the doubts and fears I sometimes still have, the letters of gratitude that have made me cry (and motivate me to continue on when those doubts creep in), the wonderful friendships I've made, the magic, serendipity and guidance I've felt along the way, and the crucial lessons I learned from the "mean girls." (http://fabulousshoenight.blogspot.com/2011/11/something-so-simple.html).

A few minutes into my presentation, I noticed subtle, but perceptible, changes in their body language. Arms began to uncross. I noticed heads nodding in agreement here and there, then smiles and laughs. It was when I got to the pivotal part about my transformational encounter with the mean girls, and the very valuable lessons I learned that led me to write the following in our Club Rules: "In Fabulous Shoe Night, there is no ego, no drama, no competition, and no mean girls," I got cheers.

I felt like Sally Field at her famous Oscar acceptance speech, "You like me! You really like me!" Yes, they liked me. And, more important, they liked Fabulous Shoe Night and everything it stands for, because they saw it has nothing to do with what almost everyone assumes it does. We are not a bunch of bored suburban housewives, wearing those ridiculously priced shoes. We're … you.

While I was literally basking in their applause and acceptance, it hit me. I was clearly in the minority that day, both in terms of skin color and economics. It occurred to me that the uniqueness of this situation was a true litmus test of the Fabulous Shoe Night concept.

To put it in it's simplest form, a mere glance around the room would have shown our "differences" to be glaringly obvious, but the FSN concept transcended any such separation between us. That's the beauty of helping others … these lines, so clearly defined by history and society, blur … and then magically disappear altogether.

There are no delineations in FSN, no age limits, social status, tax bracket, not even heel height. We're just a group of women, like you, banding together to do some good in the world.

While looking fabulous.